Marginalia: what I've been reading (in the margins of motherhood) recently
effortlessly readable novels; rereading Eliot's Middlemarch; a gorgeous children's book
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Marginalia is a monthly round-up of everything I have been reading recently, amid the chaos of family life.
My signature Crib Notes newsletters feature book recommendations for new, knackered and busy parents. Each issue is curated around a different aspect of parenthood, from ‘Books to Read When You Are Lonely’ to ‘How Do You Even Read When You Have Young Children?’
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Elizabeth x
My two-year-old is now equally as opinionated as my five year old.
Which means that I spend a lot of my time being talked at by two children at the same time, all the time. Often this can involve drawing a highly accurate sketch of a train for my eldest child, whilst playing an intense monster truck racing game with my youngest. At the moment, I am never not doing less than two — often three — things at once!
With such demands on me, it is no wonder that I did not spend the half-term holiday reading the beautiful (but cerebral) memoir about art history and fatherhood waiting for me on my bedside table.
Here’s what I’ve been reading instead.
Please do leave a comment! Let me know if you’re going through the same thing, and what you’ve been reading lately.
A GENEROUS-SPIRITED, TENDER AND SEXY NOVEL ABOUT QUEERNESS, FAMILY AND FRIENDSHIP
Over the half-term holiday I read This Love by Lotte Jeffs. It was so effortlessly readable, I was able to dip into it on even the most demanding days.
Ari and Mae meet in a gay club at Leeds University in 2014, and immediately form a fiercely loving friendship. When they discover each of them has a strong desire to have children, they agree that one day they will start a family together. Over a ten year period, their friendship is strengthened and tested. They navigate toxic relationships, grief and secrets, but neither of them loses sight of their promise to each other.
It was refreshing to read a novel which puts a platonic friendship between a man and a woman at its heart, and casts it in a gloriously romantic, loving light. I also loved the book’s unfettered joyfulness towards parenthood (and, in particular, queer family-making). A tender, sexy and generous-spirited read.
This Love is out now from Dialogue Books. The hardback is outrageously good-looking, but at a relatively weighty 432 pages, you may find the ebook more convenient.
I also recommend Lotte’s non-fiction book, The Queer Parent (co-written with Stu Oakley) and her enchanting picturebook, My Magic Family (illustrated by Sharon Davey).
SOME HOT BOOK TIPS FROM LOTTE JEFFS (AND ME)
Last week Lotte and I did an event at Waterstones Greenwich to raise money for our children’s primary school. We had a fabulous evening, with a wonderfully engaged audience, chatting about This Love, along with balancing reading/writing with parenthood. We had some good jokes about Sylvanian Families too (!).
We shared our top book recommendations for getting yourself out of a reading rut when you are also dealing with the chaos of family life:
Great Circle by Maggie Shipstead: This sweeping novel about a fictional female aviator is, as Lotte says, a ‘good, old-fashioned yarn’. Read my review here.
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin: Lotte and I agreed that this dazzling book, about two friends who design a cult video-game, is one of the most captivating things we’ve read in a long time. As Lotte says, it is one of those books you walk down the street reading, utterly unable to put it down. Read my review here.
MEANWHILE, ON AUDIO…
Rereading favourite novels has recently become my favourite low-effort, high-enjoyment hack for adding a little literary enjoyment into busy days with my boys.
Since January, I have been listening to the thirty-three-hour-long audiobook of George Eliot’s Middlemarch, which — if you have not yet had the pleasure of reading the novel — probably sounds like an onerous slog. This is likely because Middlemarch is ultimate canon, widely considered a cornerstone of English Literature. However, whilst the novel is without question a work of ‘genius’, it is also a pleasingly soapy read. If I am to completely honest with both you (and myself), I am revisiting it for the delicious pleasure of finding out whether clever, independent Dorothea Brooke gets together with sexy Will Ladislaw. Other intrigues include: the will-they-won’t-they romance between foppish Fred Vincy and sensible Mary Garth, and the doomed marriage of pretentious Rosamund Vincy and ambitious doctor, Tertius Lydgate. Meanwhile, I’m quite happy to let the details of nineteenth-century provincial politics and the Reform Bill wash over me, because having read the book once before, I basically get the gist.
Middlemarch is a pleasure, no matter whether you are reading it for the first time or the fifth. If you’re going to opt for audio, you want this version, read by the unparalleled Juliet Stevenson. Read my review of Middlemarch here.
Meanwhile, find a list of my top audio ‘reread’ recommendations here:
WHAT MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN READING
The rock band Idles has been on my radar recently. As a mother raising two young sons, I love how their new album, Tangk, subverts traditional ideas about masculinity, choosing resistance through joy and putting emotional vulnerability at its heart, featuring tracks about fatherhood and the romance of male friendship. Consequently, I was delighted when I discovered that frontman, Joe Talbot, would be reading a CBeebies Bedtime Story. This story turned out to be the gorgeous Under The Love Umbrella by Davina Hall and Allison Colpoys. My sons and I were captivated by this celebration of the love between parent and child. And — pleasingly, the book overlaps beautifully with Tangk’s message (‘Love is the fing’). I immediately ordered a copy from my pal Katie Clapham at Storyteller’s Inc, and we’ve been reading it every night since!
IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF CRIB NOTES
March’s Crib Notes is all about What to Read When You Are Doing Three Things at Once. Barring any domestic disasters, this issue will arrive just before the Easter Holidays. I’ve picked a handful of outrageously bingeable, easy-to-pick-up books to see you through full-on, hands-on days of parenting.
If you can’t wait, why not dip into these archive issues for some reading inspiration:
ABOUT ME
Before my eldest son was born in October 2018, I worked as a book publicist and literary event manager. I started Crib Notes in December 2019 as a convenient overlap of the two things I loved the most: being a mother to my son and reading. I wanted Crib Notes to feel like a friend; a kind voice and a gentle hand on the shoulder saying ‘Look, I know you’re knackered, but this book might be exactly what you need right now’. These days I look after my two little boys. I read and write in the margins of motherhood.