The Reading Cure
(Some books that have helped me through bad mental health moments).
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In my mid-twenties, I was almost perpetually anxious and depressed. Looking back, I now know that this was due to undiagnosed (and, therefore, untreated) AD/HD. Again and again, I hurled myself – all cylinders blazing – towards burnout as I tried to make it in the publishing industry. I coped and compensated with a problematic drinking habit. I felt like I fucked everything up and fit in nowhere. Since becoming a parent (and, crucially, getting a diagnosis), I am happier. Which is not to say that I am smugly, blissfully happy all the time. But starting my own little family has given me a safe space in which I can slow down and be myself. The routine and rhythm of life with young children also seems to keep me on an even keel. Nevertheless, it still doesn’t take much for me to slip into sadness. It might be the dark and cold of winter; the devastating news cycle; the accumulative exhaustion of interrupted nights; maternal rage and guilt, or the delirious boredom that comes with spending a week stuck at home with a poorly child. At these times, I turn to books.
In this issue of Crib Notes, I have shared some reads that have come to my rescue during moments of despair. Whatever your own mental health challenges might be – whether it is something more long-term; the winter blues, or the dip in mood that comes with difficult parenting days – I hope you will find something here to soothe you.
My Go-To Author for Comfort Reading
Jane and Prudence by Barbara Pym
I first discovered Barbara Pym in my twenties when I rather dramatically burnt out working as a book publicist. I was signed-off of work and feeling sad, when my friend Melissa kindly sent me a parcel of books for comfort reading. One of them was Pym’s 1953 novel Jane and Prudence, about an unlikely pair of female friends. Prudence is highly-strung, stylish and in the bad habit of ‘getting into unsatisfactory love affairs’. Meanwhile, Jane, once an English Literature tutor at Oxford University, has ended up a (rather incompetent) vicar’s wife. She is not at all suited to this position, being both entirely undomesticated and prone to shocking the parishioners by quoting poetry at inappropriate moments. When she and her husband move to a new country Parish, Jane is thrilled at the prospect of meeting new romantic suitors for Prudence. But what is it that men actually want, wonders Jane? If the spinsters and widows of the village are to be believed, men need ‘cooked breakfasts’ and ‘want one thing only’ (what this thing might be is never explicitly stated, but referred to in whispered, dramatic tones). Pym has a gleefully good time poking fun at men and the special attention they seem to require, but the novel is also a tender consideration of what women might want once their youthful days of ‘wine and roses’ are over. Jane and Prudence is a delightful social comedy, twinkling with wry wit and capturing the silly and the poignant in everyday life.
When to Read It: In the days after my grandmother died; when I was struggling through severe pregnancy sickness, and in the tumultuous week after my second child was born, I could read nothing but Barbara Pym novels. She is my go-to writer whenever I feel emotionally fragile and unable to decide what to read.
How To Read It: I am coveting the ravishing new Virago Modern Classics paperback edition of Jane and Prudence (buy it here). I have always read Pym’s novels in paperback (all of them are manageably lightweight at around 250 pages each), but I recently revisited Jane and Prudence via audiobook and found it a joy! Pym’s sparkling prose is at its best with lively narration and superb comic timing from Maggie Mash.
What to Read Next: More Pym. My favourites (alongside Jane and Prudence) are Excellent Women, Crampton Hodnet and A Glass of Blessings, followed by No Fond Return of Love and Some Tame Gazelle. Pym didn’t write a single bad book, though – you’ll be satisfied with whichever you choose!
The Jane Austen Rewrite
Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld
If you have subscribed to Crib Notes for a while, you probably know the following things about me. Firstly, that I reach for Jane Austen-esque dramas when I’m feeling low. During my first pregnancy, I was signed off of work with debilitating sickness for almost three months. Unable to move from the sofa, I consumed every Austen tv-adaptation or spin-off I could get my hands on, from the classic BBC Pride and Predjudice to the super silly Austenland. The second thing you might know about me is that the novels of Curtis Sittenfeld have often kept me company during difficult weeks with my kids. Sittenfeld’s Eligible – a snappy, sparkling, modern day rewrite of Pride and Prejudice – is a perfect marriage of my two go-to reading cures. Liz Bennett (a writer for a women’s glossy mag) and her sister Jane (a sweet-natured yoga instructor) are summoned home from their busy New York lives after their father has a heart attack. Back in their hometown of Cincinnati, Liz and Jane are faced with their father’s astronomical medical bills; the dilapidated state of the family home; their useless younger siblings, and (of course!) the obligatory questions about why they are both single. At a Fourth of July BBQ, the sisters are thrown into the orbit of millionaire reality TV star, Chip Bingley and his pal Darcy, a snobbish neurosurgeon. So begins this pithy, frothy reworking of the love story we all know inside-out. There’s enormous pleasure to be had in Sittenfeld’s smart updates to the novel, which avoid falling into the trap of being twee or predictable. I loved Mr Collins’s restyling as a Mark Zuckerbeg-esque tech mogul; Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s recasting á la Gloria Steinem, and Liz’s ‘situationship’ with commitment-phobic Jasper Wick. On the other hand, I had literally no idea why Kitty and Lydia were reincarnated as cross-fit fanatics. But whatever. It’s such fun!
When to Read It: Last April, I did jury service on a distressing, and sometimes triggering, criminal trial. As I travelled between home and the courthouse, I listened to the audiobook of Eligible in an effort to soothe my aching brain. This Jane Austen glow-up — pleasingly full of romantic silliness, glamorous detail and bitchy chat —gave me instant relief and demanded nothing of me as a reader.
How to Read It: I flitted between the audio and kindle editions, dipping into the story whenever I had a break. The novel is also available in paperback (buy it here), though at 544 pages it’s on the chunkier side.
What to Read Next: For more of Curtis Sittenfeld at her most fizzy and delicious, pick up Romantic Comedy (read my review here). For another literary reboot, I recommend The Vinegar Girl, Anne Tyler’s modern day retelling of The Taming of the Shrew, or Jeanette Winterson’s The Gap of Time, which reimagines The Winter’s Tale.
The Modern Classic
The Group by Mary McCarthy
Published in 1963, Mary McCarthy’s The Group was both enormously successful (it spent two whole years on The New York Times bestseller list) and scandalous (it was banned in several countries). Set in the 1930s, this groundbreaking book introduces us to eight young women, newly graduated from an upper-crust New England college. Each of them has bright hopes for becoming a ‘modern’ woman, not ‘stuffy and frightened’ like ‘Mother and Dad’. They will have careers, sex lives and they certainly will not marry dull young men with jobs in banking, only interested in the drinking at the Racquet Club. Kay leads the charge as the most bohemian and bold of the group: the novel opens with her marriage to wannabe playwright, Harald Petersen. Admittedly, the group have misgivings about the match – a life in the cut-throat world of theatre seems terribly insecure and the wedding itself seems scandalously informal. Nevertheless, this unconventional social occasion marks the group’s first steps into their ‘emancipated’ adult lives. Dottie Renfrew loses her virginity and wonders whether so-called ‘sexual liberation’ is worth the humiliation. Kind, sensible Polly Andrews unexpectedly ends up being ‘The Other Woman’ whilst she waits for her lover to leave his wife (and his psychoanalyst). Pretentious Libby McCausland finds success as a literary agent; but when it comes to courtship, she finds that an upper-class pedigree does not guarantee that a man behaves like a gentleman behind closed doors. Meanwhile, Priss Hartshorn becomes a mother and finds herself buffeted about by changing trends in child-rearing. Spanning a seven-year period, The Group is simultaneously as arch and scintillating as the best gossip, and pin-sharp about the sexual double-standards and the difficulties women face when they try to live on their own terms. Even in 2024, this novel feels remarkably fresh and relevant.
When To Read It: In Autumn I spent four maddening weeks at home, when my children succumbed to tonsillitis and chest infections. Feeling isolated and cabin-feverish, I picked up The Group, which had recently been sent to me by Virago Modern Classics. Kay, Dottie, Polly and their friends kept me in excellent company: I found myself believing in these women wholeheartedly. I was entertained, heartbroken, outraged and deeply moved by these their stories. It drew me out of myself – I felt more purposeful and less alone.
How To Read It: I read the gorgeous new hardback edition. However, at 500 pages, it was an effort to heft it around. I recommend Virago’s lighter-weight, cheaper paperback edition (buy it here). As usual, you could also opt for audio or kindle if juggling a paperback with mittens, snacks and toy trucks feels like one thing too many.
Senstive Content: Sexual assault, miscarriage and mentions of suicide.
What to Read Next: The Group reminded me of Marilyn French’s similarly groundbreaking (and equally absorbing) novel The Women's Room. Meanwhile, for an effervescent, low-stakes story about the romantic lives of the East Coast upper-class, try Laurie Colwin’s 1978 novel, Happy All The Time (read my review here).
The Late 90s Must-Read
The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank
When The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing was first published in 1999, it was lazily pigeonholed as ‘chick lit’, presumably because no one could believe that a book about a woman’s love life was anything but fluff. Twenty-five years later, The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing could easily share a shelf with literary stars like Sally Rooney or Katherine Heiny. This stylishly-written collection of interlinked stories follows a young New Yorker through her teens, twenties and thirties, as she navigates romance and its rules. The book opens with a story about fourteen-year-old Jane, who has her first experience of heartbreak when her older brother breaks-up with his girlfriend. ‘It scared me that my brother had failed at loving something. I myself had no idea how to do it,’ she says. Several stories chronicle Jane’s complex relationship with a much older man – a famous book editor with a drinking problem. Later on, Jane finds a ‘perfect hunk’ but begins to suspect he sees her only as ‘The Generic Woman’. The book culiminates in a fabulous send-up of 1990s dating manuals. When Jane meets her dream man, she panics and purchases a book entitled ‘How to Meet and Marry Mr Right’. The main advice is ‘play hard to get’ and ‘funny is the opposite of sexy’. Predictably, the consequences are catastrophic, hilarious and touching. The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing is a nuanced look at love and sex, glittering with one-liners and pathos.
When to Read It: In the summer of 2022, I found myself caring for my nine-month-old and three-year-old with no childcare and minimal help for six weeks. I felt depressed, shattered and – for the first time since becoming a parent – I felt that the labour was so relentless, that I existed only to fulfil motherly duties. Putting my toddler in front of Octonauts in the afternoons, I would breastfeed the baby and read The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing. Bank’s writing was smart and readable; her heroine, Jane, was funny and relateable. In short, The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing was both a book I could enjoy in an immediate, uncomplicated way and it was sharp enough to remind me that I had a brain.
Sensitive Content: In one story Jane loses her beloved father to leukemia, and in another she battles breast cancer.
How to Read It: I read the kindle edition, but Penguin have recently released a new paperback which is a not-too-heavy 304 pages (buy it here).
What to Read Next: I spoke to my friend Melissa, who is not only the woman who introduced me to Barbara Pym but also the woman who introduced me to The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing. She recommends Bank’s ‘brilliantly written’ The Wonder Spot, as well as Katherine Heiny’s Single, Carefree, Mellow (read my review here).
A Few Other Mood-Boosting Favourites and a Competition
Back in 2020, I was lifted out of a low moment by Huma Qureshi’s gorgeous, lovingly written memoir, How We Met. Huma’s writing flows effortlessly, and along with being a book about following your heart, it is also about self-love and acceptance. Read my review here.
For pure comfort, I recommend Elizabeth Jane Howard’s Cazalet Chronicles. The Light Years is the first book in this dazzling family saga and follows the fortunes of the upper-class Cazalet family from the golden summer of 1937 to the outbreak of the Second World War. Deftly recalling the 30s — from jam roly polys and serge dresses to the shifting social landscape of the times— these books are elegantly plotted, charming and poignant. Read my review here.
Competition!
Viktoria Lloyd Barlow’s beguiling and sharp-eyed debut novel, All The Little Bird Hearts, is now out in paperback (read my review here). If you would like to win a copy, simply comment below telling me you’d like to be entered into the draw. UK subscribers only.
About Me
I'm Elizabeth. Before my eldest son was born in October 2018, I worked as a book publicist and literary event manager. I started Crib Notes in December 2019 as a convenient overlap of the two things I loved the most: being a mother to my son and reading. I wanted to help other parents find the same solace in books that I had found — I wanted Crib Notes to feel like a friend; a kind voice and a gentle hand on the shoulder saying ‘Look, I know you’re knackered, but this book might be exactly what you need right now’. These days I look after my two little boys. I read, write and chair literary events in the margins of motherhood.
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