Marginalia: Two F*cking Amazing Books to Get You Through to September
If you read just one book this month (or this month, this year, whatever) make it one of these.
Welcome to Marginalia — my speedy, from the front-line-of-motherhood, round-up of the very best things I have been trying to read whilst looking after my two young sons.
My signature Crib Notes newsletter, featuring succinct book reviews for new, busy and knackered parents, will be back after the summer holidays. In the meantime, why not check out these archive issue:
So far, my summer has been the usual carnival of pure joy, boredom, squabbles, comically high stress levels, and loveliness.
Have I read all the books on my Hot Mum Summer Reading List? Of course I haven’t! Are you insane? It is at this time every year that I marvel at my earlier, pre-summer-holidays self and her foolish optimism. When exactly did I think I was going to read eight books, between the delusionally ambitious craft activities; outings, packing; car journeys, and peace negotiations ?
This month I’ve read one and a half (1.5) books. The first was from my Hot Mum Summer Reading List — I loved it and felt bereft when I finished it. The second book is a surprise, spontaneous reading pick and I’m obsessed with it.
If you are going to read something over the week and a half, I highly recommend making it one of these books.
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If you read just one book this summer* make it Claire Lombardo’s Same As It Ever Was
*Or this month, this autumn, this year. Whatever. But you need to read this book.
An utterly unputdownable novel about family life.
At the age of sixty, Julia Ames has a life so ‘improbably lovely’, it astonishes her. She has coffee dates; an overzealously affectionate terrier named Suzanne; a talent for hosting dinner parties, and a relative sense of peace. Her two children are now (mostly) grown-up. Ben, her easy, golden child is completing a PhD in geophysics. Alma, who was once a wildly clingy kid, is now gorgeous, terrifyingly autonomous and breathtakingly good at maths. But on the afternoon of her husband’s sixtieth birthday Julia runs into Helen Russo, a former friend and a bewildering reminder of a time when things were not so lovely. Those were the days when motherhood felt ‘paralytically monotonous’ and isolating. Helen’s friendship saved Julia, and then, it almost ended her marriage. Julia is rattled by the encounter, and when a number of unexpected events disrupt her calm family-life, she begins to spiral. Moving backwards and forwards in time, the secrets and speed bumps in Julia’s past are revealed — deliciously and movingly — to the reader.
Same As It Ever Was is an engrossing and emotionally-resonant look at marriage and long-term love; fidelity and forgiveness, and muddling one’s way through being a parent. I adored this novel and I adored Julia too. I related to her and I rooted for her right the way through this wonderful book.
“I told you I’m off seafood,” Alma says. “I told you that weeks ago.” She considers this. She wishes—horribly, a not uncommon desire when speaking to her daughter—that she could simply evaporate from this conversation. She feels, too, unbelievably tired, stymied by gravity; so much of motherhood has, for her, been this particular feeling, abject disbelief that she’s not only expected but obligated to do one more thing. “Did you forget?” “Forget is a strong word,” she says, and she extracts a bushel of cilantro from the door of the fridge. In fact she does remember; she’d just been hoping that the conversation on what Alma referred to as incremental veganism, like many conversations with teens, could be swept under the rug within a few days, replaced by something uniquely, inexplicably pressing.”
When to Read It: Same As It Ever Was is the kind of novel I have increasingly loved to read as I have moved through my thirties and early motherhood — it is an accomplished, elegantly-plotted work of literary fiction and it is effortlessly readable. I took the novel on holiday and whilst I spent most of my time building sandcastles, paddling in the sea and trying to convince my children to eat something other than frites, the moments I did manage to read a few pages were enormously satisfying. Same As It Ever Was will remind you of the pleasure to be had from a good book.
How To Read It: As soon as I started this novel, I knew I wanted to immerse myself completely. I doubled up and I read Same As It Ever Was on kindle (for ease — it’s a chunky 492 pages) and listened to the beautifully-read audiobook too (mainly in the run up to the holiday, as I undertook the monster task of packing for myself and two children). You can buy the hardback edition here if you have especially strong wrists.
What To Read Next: Claire Lombardo’s equally absorbing debut, The Most Fun We Ever Had, as well as Ann Patchett’s Tom Lake (read my review here), and Meg Wolitzer’s The Wife (read my review here).
“Happiness never came easily to her until she had children; on their behalf it has always sprung forth readily, and she is proud of herself for that, if not for many other facets of her mothering.”
What I’m Reading (in the margins of motherhood) Right Now
Miranda July’s fucking phenomenal new novel, All Fours.
Four weeks into the summer holidays, I’m feeling fairly stifled — I long for my life to be more than preparing meals my children will probably reject; remembering to pack hats and suncream, and standing around in playgrounds. All Fours has been both the wild joyride I need, and a kind of therapeutic exfoliation of the things I worry about. It is gleefully off-kilter and freewheeling, and genuinely exciting to read. It’s such an exhilarating thrill, it almost seems counter-intuitive to start reading it at bedtime (knowing full well I’ll be woken at 5.58am by my little alarm clocks).
The narrator is a forty-five year-old ‘semi-famous’ artist, who bids farewell to her husband and child and sets off on a road trip from LA to New York. Thirty minutes into the drive, she abandons her plans, checks into a motel and for two weeks follows every single delirious, luxurious, seedy, kinky whim that comes into her mind. This turns out to be only the beginning of a total life transformation. All Fours is a mind-blowing, swirling look at midlife womanhood — from sexual desire and fantasy, to motherhood, peri-menopause and ageing, as well as creativity, reinvention and freedom.
“Everyone thinks doggy style is so vulnerable,” Jordi said, “but it’s actually the most stable position. Like a table. It’s hard to be knocked down when you’re on all fours.”
I’m reading it on Kindle because, let’s face it, during the summer holidays — when you might one minute be baking muffins with the kids and then playing a board game and then trying to referee water play — it is just so much more convenient than lugging around a hardback and trying to find your place every time you pick it up. But if you have more reverence for physical books than I do right now, you can buy All Fours here.
TW: Birth trauma, as well as the experience of having a very premature baby in NICU.
What My Kids Have Been Reading
During a recent staycation at the grandparents’ house my mum dug out my old Meg and Mog books for the three-year-old. He fell in love with them, and Meg’s Eggs, in particular, seems to have captured his imagination. I’m sure you remember Helen Nicoll and Jan Pieńkowski’s picture-books from your own childhood, but in case you don’t: the stories are short, ingeniously simple and just a little bit zany, featuring spells gone wrong and funny sounds. As a grown-up, I’m enjoying their retro, 1970s vibe. My toddler also loves the audio edition, and we’ve discovered the early 00s TV series on YouTube.
You may have seen Messy Goes to Okido on iPlayer as part of the usual rotation of Cbeebies stalwarts, but did you know that there’s also a brilliant Okido magazine — and it is absolutely not your usual plastic-tat-festooned comic. This vibrant, indie STEAM magazine is aimed at 3-7 year olds, and is packed with curiosity-sparking stories, activities, experiments and puzzles. My eldest son and I have been fans for a few years, and my youngest son is now old enough to enjoy it too. We got a lot of mileage out of August’s ‘Letters and Postcards’ issue on an afternoon spent at home.
I hope you enjoy your reading time x